My new book.

It was January here when I wandered into Urban Outfitters only to stumble upon one of my very most wished, wishes. A film camera! The one and only DIANA+ (I had no idea at the time how important a DIANA+ was though haha)! With no idea how to use one and it being verrrrrrry expensive (and me totally poor) I decided to wait. But the prints were awesome, the film was available, I debated and debated. Spending near to an 1 hour standing there. Afterwards I left the shop empty handed, with not wanting to waste my money and so and so and I walked around in the city of Frankfurt for awhile only to spontaneously come across a very cool vintage shop, back to the century was the name I hope/think! What was the first thing I saw in the shop? A DIANA+! but no, not one, not two but lots and lots and lots DIANA+’s. Well wasn’t I in heaven! I still had a problem with not having so much money, I asked to do a layby with man being so interested in Australia, he agreed and with a bonus packet of photo holders included. I left the shop with the idea of not buying just a DIANA+ but the whole pack which included many lenses, cords, cables, a flash and various other goodies. I vowed to think about it thoroughly and return in the next few days. Well… I can’t really remember how many days or perhaps even it was hours before I returned to the shop, bargained, got 20 Euro off (but no photo holders :( ) and I was a very happy chappy walking to the train station, hoping on a train, travelling home with a plastic lomo camera. I got home, fiddled and read and probably did all the wrong things before setting it up on my window sill. I took some photos over the next few weeks but I was so unsure of what do or how to work, with the DIANA+ being not a camera that came with great instructions (which at the time I was so maddened by!) Anyway, I heading to DM the cheapest shop (similar to priceline) and had my first film developed, well actually 2. I returned everyday after, waiting and waiting, 5 days later there was my packet, glorious, unopened, full of wonderful cool pictures……….wrong. One of my films apparently had nothing on it and the other was just a collection of shit blurry photos. I was so bitterly disappointed. I think I might have cried. So back went my DIANA+ on my window sill. A few times I went and hunted for more film and read a little bit about the DIANA+, but for a good 8 weeks my camera remained on my window sill. I was often upset when I looked at it, thinking I had totally wasted my money and something like an iphone/pod/pad with a vintage camera app would of been better. I continued not to touch it. At Easter time I was  bound for a holiday to France, randomly I decided to pack this piece of crap camera, I went and bought film and actually read and read and read nearly all of the DIANA+ info. Returned from France and had the film developed and so it goes, practice makes well not perfect that’s not what DIANA+ is but it made something brilliant. It sparked something. It is now nearly 8 weeks later and I have clicked and clicked and clicked. I am at the moment getting 4 films developed which is a total thrill in itself. Screw going to the computer and just looking. Let me feel and touch the photos I have made with this little piece of plastic magic. I think  I developed something more than a picture in France. This little piece of plastic let me hide my face behind it when I was homesick and wanted to have a tear. It captured the smile of me when I saw a beach for the first time in 3 months but most of all it has helped keep me a little sane. I read the last DIANA+ book today realised something, that each photo has a story to go with it and it is true… After that long story, this is what I actually wanted to post about! Tomorrow I am going to go into the city and I have going to purchase a giant book and I have going to make my life in this book with photos I have captured with my very own, better than a friggin iphone/pod/pad, money worth while and not shit, plastic piece of wonder, the DIANA+. This book with my photos and captions stuck in (maybe without even captions) will see me head through the next years of my life. It will see school, boyfriends, uni, parties, family, christmas’s, birthdays, outings, gatherings, a lot more and perhaps even the world. DIANA+, thank you for not coming with instructions. 

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Insanity or infinity

Well. What to say. I usually don’t post blogs and when I do I delete them a few day later, this one will most likely be deleted to haha but I need to rant. I wish I could to describe to people I love what I am going through right now but I know that not many people understand. It is a mixture of sadness,  a dash of confusion, mixed with a little homesickness with a glimpse of happiness here and there. It is painful and I don’t think I have ever felt like this before. Not even having my heart broken but my first love or every scrap and scratch I have ever acquired in my life put together could hurt so dearly. I have come to such a realisation that I have wasted to much of my life trying to make other people happy, taking to many things to heart and fighting to belong somewhere. The truth, I don’t know where I belong but I know one day it will come, I will start making my own happiness and I will put up a shield. I may not be perfect but I certainly don’t deserve what has happened here over the past month, I am only human and I make mistakes to. I guess I remember the day when everything crashed and at the time I was listening to painter (my favourite secret band) and it was so hot here. It will probably be one of the worse days of my life but maybe in another breathe one of the best learning curves a human could have. I faced every lie, every secret and every unhappiness straight in the face, without even meaning to. I felt like the world had crashed on to me and beaten me with every single unlucky streak it had. But now sitting here and crying my blue eyes out, I know that everything will be okay. Because I have people who will leave and who will stay, I have a boyfriend but he will not be forever (I understand that) and I am so lucky to have such a beautiful family.  I am have been to the top and I have been to the bottom and I am completely insane but I love it. Breathe me. 

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introducing-kawaii-princess:

this photograph intrigues me so much! why isn’t this the most famous photo from 9/11 instead of the falling man? isn’t 2 people holding hands after jumping more significant than 1 man? it makes me wonder what the story is behind this photo, were they friends or lovers? or just strangers who were too scared to jump alone? it shows that people need a helping hand even in their final moments, i love it.
Fucking reblog today; tomorrow. Any day I see it on my dash. Beautiful. I for one think they were strangers. Sometimes it’s easier to care for a stranger, how else would they have found the courage to not only jump, but to look into someone’s eyes and jump. I don’t think I could have done that if I knew the person well.

introducing-kawaii-princess:

this photograph intrigues me so much! why isn’t this the most famous photo from 9/11 instead of the falling man? isn’t 2 people holding hands after jumping more significant than 1 man? it makes me wonder what the story is behind this photo, were they friends or lovers? or just strangers who were too scared to jump alone? it shows that people need a helping hand even in their final moments, i love it.

Fucking reblog today; tomorrow. Any day I see it on my dash. Beautiful. I for one think they were strangers. Sometimes it’s easier to care for a stranger, how else would they have found the courage to not only jump, but to look into someone’s eyes and jump. I don’t think I could have done that if I knew the person well.

(via eathesaints)

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eathesaints:

✡☠sexual pleasures☠✡ 

eathesaints:

☠sexual pleasures☠ 

(Source: disco-nail)

78,111 notes

eathesaints:

✡☠sexual pleasures☠✡ 

eathesaints:

☠sexual pleasures☠ 

2,887 notes

eathesaints:

✡☠sexual pleasures☠✡ 

eathesaints:

☠sexual pleasures☠ 

(Source: holyfriend)

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british boys: hey gorgeous, how are you? you look lovely today
australian boys: oi give us a gob cunt
american boys: whaddup shawty you lookin good winna winna chicken dinna hellz yeah lets get naked
arab guys: you want to make friendship
27,186 notes

eathesaints:

✡☠sexual pleasures☠✡ 

eathesaints:

☠sexual pleasures☠ 

(Source: kingandqueen)

32,309 notes

eathesaints:

✡☠sexual pleasures☠✡ 

eathesaints:

☠sexual pleasures☠ 

16,293 notes

eathesaints:

✡☠sexual pleasures☠✡ 

eathesaints:

☠sexual pleasures☠ 

259 notes